Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
