My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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