ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
