Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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