So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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