Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
