Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
