Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
