Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
