ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
