lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i think i have two assholes
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
