This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
