bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
