fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
