Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
