i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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