weddingsv make me drug and hornr
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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