I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
