I wish you could order shots online.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
