i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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