Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
