At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
