honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We had to coat check the pizza.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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