We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
