you guys were way drunker than both of me
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
