you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
