What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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