Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
