If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
