Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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