Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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