And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dick very happy bro
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
