Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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