it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
