I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
