Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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