What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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