I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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