at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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