Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
