I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
