Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
