I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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