There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
