with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
