your room smells of hookers.
And success
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
