nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
