Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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