he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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