I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I can't turn off my feet"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
