Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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